2009/04/15

Linking Moms around the world

An interesting tag started by HBM and David found its way to me via HipHop Grandmom . Although I have been a mother for over 22 years now it was a little unnerving to list down 5 things about why I love being a Mom . I have loved motherhood most of the time but never gone gaga over it .

I worry constantly about not being a good mother or being responsive to my children's needs in time . I know I get hysterical if anything troubles them and I get mad when they run to AG when they are in deep trouble and not to me because he represents solid security to them . I am bipolar - swinging between deep discipline and fun .

But yes , overall , motherhood has seemed to make me a complete person in terms of being more perceptive to emotions and feelings , I am more intuitive .I have never for a minute regretted putting them foremost and everything else on the back burner . I have learnt to look beyond myself and taking their opinions into consideration . Today Srin is an adult and I have complete faith in her sensibilities . Tani still has a long way to go but her levels of intuitiveness amazes me It has also been important create a bonding between them and me and encourage openness .

My feelings about being a mother range from the mundane to the poetic , from cuddling the babies and singing "Hello Sunshine , hello leaf ,hello flower, hello , hello " - and having the satisfaction of huge baby eyes looking solemnly at me as I nattered on , to pressing my ear close to Tani's chest to check whether her breathing was vacillating wildly towards an asthmatic attack for the nth time , to despairing as to whether she would actually ever talk , to wiping cacky bums and mopping up puke, to holding hands and listening to teenage confidences and wiping tears and handholding over rough patches - and stifling homicidal instincts at the perpetrator of those tears .

Therefore ,to actually pin down 5 points is extremely difficult . But anyway here goes :-

  1. Approaching delivery was scary but at the end of a short labour when I held Srin, smeared wet with my bodily fluids and shivering in the January cold , close to my breast ,she looked up at me with slanting eyes of a pure Byzantine mosaic green , like her father's and grabbed my thumb with slimy fingers , I knew a love that makes me cry every time I think of it. Tani was a miracle baby because I was desperate to have another child and she was conceived after a shattering miscarriage and I came close to losing her because of physical problems . So holding her a day after she was born reinforced those feelings all over again .
  2. Being a mother is a constant challenge . Children are very intelligent and I love the battle of wits where we try to see how much Ma knows and how much slack she's likely to give .
  3. Both my children are very different from each other .Over the years I have learnt to handle both of them in diverse ways without comparing them . Srin is a compulsive bookworm but Tani was always too lazy to go thru the entire book - it was always that much easier to read the beginning and end or listen to my stories. I have loved the constant stoking of my imagination that Tani prompted when she was smaller and I wish I had written them down! Srin has had it easy but everything Tani achieves is like a milestone . But somewhere there is a common strain that runs through both of them and it never ceases to amaze me as to how similar they actually are .
  4. I love seeing the world through my children's eyes . It has kept up this yearning for constant learning in me . I love being around Srin and Tani's friends and they make me feel younger than my fifty years .
  5. I love my unit of 4 as AG calls it . It was a struggle in the early years but now that we have grown up along the years - we have our understandings , our lessons in values and morals , our jokes and our nuttiness . I love it when the girls gang up against me - I love it when they pamper me because through all this I can sense that to these two girls I am a rock and I am never going to let them down.
The meme requires one to tag at least five other mommies . Just write a post of your own (5 things that you love about being a mom) and find someone to link to and tag - someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country - and link back here and leave a comment.

I am tagging Onedia ,Mystic Margarita & Sandeepa , both in the USA, Susan in Kerala , and The Muser , also from the USA. Oh and I cannot resist adding Mrs T from the UK - would love to read her take on this .

Happy tagging ladies .

20 comments:

Jane Turley said...

I accept the challenge Mrs G! I will get my thinking cap on!

Your post was lovely - sincere and thoughtful. I'll have to try a different perspective .Hmmm....

Onedia Hayes Sylvest said...

thanks for the tag. It came at a wonderful moment. One of my "exchanged daughters" dropped a comment on the blog and then you challenge me to write about why I love being a Mom. I also accept and your post is poignant and beautiful and reveals a bit more of you. Thank you for sharing it.

O.

hillgrandmom said...

I'll do the tag EL. Have been reading HBM's and David's blog and wish I read more women from other parts of the world. maybe I'll go look :-)

Sandeepa said...

Tomar tag ta pore nishchinto lagche, 22 years poreo ki shundor sane acho :D
Amar dutoi miracle baby, dujoner du rokom golpo
Tag korecho thik i, korte parbo kina janina kintu :)

Tomader sabbai ke janai Nabo Borsher anek shubhechcha

Hip Grandma said...

thanks for doing the tag and for doing it differently.the girls ganging up against you.......well i know what you mean.Been there and the experience is frustrating and fulfilling at the same time.

Hip Grandma said...

Happy New year to you and yours,tho' belated.

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

My apologies for intrusion, if dads don't qualify.
But one my chiefest pleasures is when she comes pattering up in the morning for a cuddle. Stretches up her arms and demands "Ahllaadi!"

J.A.P.

Banno said...

Hey I am a bipolar mom too. And I love the battle of wits with Dhanno myself. I think that's the real fun part of being a mom.

Lucky you, having 2 lovely daughters.

Sucharita Sarkar said...

What a reassuring post for me, who has been a mother for only eight years (and three to the other). You have made the journey ahead seem so full of pleasure and promise.

tikulicious said...

wo what a post I am not linked but will do this one .. keep writing and do vote for me to win the mother's day contest. thanks for liking my article.
http://indusladies.com/partners/poll1.php

A Muser said...

Loved your answers, EL! Like you I enjoy motherhood, but am not likely to go gaga over it! And I worry constantly too about not being responsive to my children's needs. You sound like a great mom. Completed your tag, by the way! Just in time for Mother's Day!

Mama - Mia said...

This made SUCH a beautiful read EL!

i wanna do this tag when Cubby is grown up and see how it changes! :)

cheers!

abha

eve's lungs said...

JT - Waiting for that there post
O--HG :)
HipG - Thanks for that tag
Sandeepa , Sucho - The view from here is as good I assure you !
JAP- The tag is a bit gendercentric,but I did like that "ahlaadi" bit .
Banno- my wits are consantly engaged I tell you !
Tikuli - hi welcome to my blog
Muser - This sense of inadequacy is very worrying but most moms do a great job
Abha - whoa !

Jane Turley said...

All done Mrs G!

iz said...

thats the most honest post on motherhood i've read. very touching.

Spontaneous Mini said...

Heyyy!! how have you been?? Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.
ANd I tagged ya.

Sue said...

You been tagged, yeah.

Subhashree said...

Loved your tag, Ruma Mashi.

karmickids said...

Loved reading this...

maidinmalaysia said...

i loved reading this tag. thanks.